A few days ago we lost an amazing human being who deserved all the love in the world: Jonghyun from Shinee. He was an incredible singer and an amazing person.

He will not be forgotten!

Now I just want to try to bring awareness to this topic.

Jonghyun’s suicide made me think about a lot of dark stuff like who’s next and what drove him to this heartbreaking decision.
Jonghyun was a really funny guy and he seemed happy but, almost every single kpop idol I know of, seems happy.

What if they’re not?

I mean, everyone knows that kpop idols go through so freaking much to become an idol and, when they finally achieve their dreams, they just have to work even harder.

Let’s take BTS as an example.

We all know that they work 24/7 to satisfy all ARMYs. They put on a happy face even on their dark days. Everyone has dark and sad days where they just don’t want to deal with anything and we’re all allowed to have days like that.

Despite that BTS have to perform, sing, meet fans and be together all the time; they don’t get time to think about themselves or their life in the same way we do.
For example, I remember when Jungkook injured his leg during 2016 MNET Asian Music Awards because he was hanging from the ceiling with wires. Some hours later when BTS were leaving Hong Kong, Jungkook was seen unable to walk on his own because his leg was injured.

It has to be so emotionally exhausting to be in the spotlight all the time, all the pressure and expectations they have to deal with are just awful.

This is my opinion and I might be wrong but I think that at least 90% of all kpop idols have been going through depression, eating disorders or mental disorders.

As human beings, we should have the right to deal with our problems in private and I know what some of you are probably thinking:

“Oh but they chose this life themselves, no one forced them to become idols”

That’s true but that’s why depression, eating disorders, etc… are called mental disorders.

IT’S NOT SOMETHING THEY CHOOSE.

Let’s say an idol finally get to debut, they’re probably really happy and they’ve achieved what they wanted but then the no sleep, no private life, no breaks from the spotlight and no relaxing hits them and they develop a mental disorder like depression.

What are they supposed to do?

They’re stuck in a never-ending sadness. They don’t want to disappoint their fans, members, families or themselves. They probably judge themselves for feeling bad.

“I chose this life, my fans are counting on me, my group members are counting on me”.

As someone who has experienced depression and countless eating disorders myself, I just wanna let you know that when you’re in that state of mind, you see no way out of the darkness.

Especially as an idol you probably won’t have the courage to ask for professional help.

Then what’s the way to finally get out of the depression?

Suicide…

People who commit suicide don’t do it to hurt anyone. They’re not weak, they’ve been strong for too long and they saw no way out.

The thoughts of a depressed person mind are crazy and incredibly sad stuff like:

«I’m not good enough.»

«No one needs me.»

«I’m worthless, everyone would be better off without me.»

«I want to die.»

It’s such a terrifying thought, to take your own life, to be so sad that you don’t feel like you have another choice, to end your life forever.

I think we should start thinking more about kpop idols well-being and think of them as actual human beings with feelings just like any other person. As fans, I wish we could pay more attention to what’s going on inside our favorite idols minds; we should keep supporting them but also give them space.

So I’m not sure what I want to achieve by writing this, I’m just really upset and I really want to change this issue.

Rest in peace, Jonghyun.